loki

that is loki the German shepherd. loki and i have a very interesting relationship. it mostly deals with me be very afraid of her and her barking at me. sometimes loki doesn't mind me and sometimes she does. the fact is i am not very...well comfortable around an animal that has sharp teeth, taller then me, and barks when it hears the very sound of my voice. point in case. loki scares the shit out of me.

i was hit by a car a couple of weeks go. i am fine, i have a broken elbow and a pretty amazing bruise on my knee. but i am making a full recovery and things look like there on there way to getting back to normal. people ask me if i was scared when it happened or if i am scared of cars now. i'm not and i wasn't. what i am scared of is the long term effects... what if my elbow heals weird? what if when i'm 80 my knee will give out because of the accident. all these thoughts have been on my mind.

last night i was combing though the thoughts of my mind. listening to my brain as i was drifting off to sleep land, when it started to go into the world of the "what if's". what if i can't do this now, what if... blah, blah, blah. i realized i was freaking myself out for no reason. i can't change what happened, all i can just do my best to take care of myself now and just get over it. i don't want to be scared of my future... 

so. the first logical step to overcoming this fear involves me and a dog.

loki my dear, you will not win this battle.